Don't read this

Assalamualaikum.

[Warning! Not an educational post]

I have been so overwhelmed with essays and IDK I'm super stressed out sometimes I don't know why. Like sometimes I'll be "Chill, girl. Don't worry you gonna be fine," and the next minute I'll freak out and start to cry myself out thinking that I couldn't do anything. Gosh, I don't understand myself. I hate writing so much I mean right now, that I don't even want to write anything, not even my piece of creative writing because I'll be so guilty for writing something else other than essays geddit? But IDK as I went through Pinterest the other day, one way to tackle stress is to write thing downs. So, me gonna try everything I can, hence this ramble-rant.

Anyway, I don't why this raging hormone decide to kick in like a surprise. So, I was thinking to myself, can someone actually handle my random moods and all? I even doubt myself. I am so afraid that people will get tired of me because I can't really fake my mood and be all happy when I'm not. But I always try to overcome this negativities and push them away like I'm the bawse. Most of the times I'll lose the battle but sometimes I have to make sure I'm winning.

But funny thing is, I don't think essays is the cause, maybe some external factors that I've recognized or maybe not  I don't know. I wish to not overthink everything because the one hurting is me. And now I miss Birmingham summer time so much because I can run to one of the parks alone so early in the morning (5 am) and cry myself while watching the sun rise.