Moving forward

Assalamualaikum.

It has been quite a demotivating week for me, last week and I have 11 days of outstanding gratitude log on my calcium-deficient shoulder. But you know, the thought of waking up everyday just to be thankful for everything needs a large amount of F=ma (that’s me trying to be savvy. Mehh. Major failure). Just because Allah knows how hard it is to be thankful for ‘petty’ things that occurred mostly on the daily basis, He promises us to give more when we are thankful. Such a great reward, innit?

Anyway, as I have been doing the gratitude challenge for 30 days now (I just didn’t blog the other 11 days, for a reason), it does really change my mindset everyday. I am not gonna lie, I do need to take a step back and cry and rant over things but that doesn’t in any way mean I am not grateful with my life. Well, one thing I noticed that, the far-reaching impact of doing this is that I don’t complain as much as I did before. I do complain and sometimes I just can’t help it but the next day I will always make sure that I’ll become a better person in one way or another. Sometimes I don’t have time to complain, because I was thinking of what more can I be grateful for. As the matter of fact, I don’t think I need to blog it every day because I do keep my daily log offline.

That was me explaining why didn’t I blog another 11 days of gratitude log.

On the other hand, I think one of the greatest blessings that I have is (as we are speaking) my students. I know I couldn’t even stand on my own two feet if it wasn’t because of them. Because they keep me moving forward and I am forcing myself to move forward, for them. I have always been looking forward to meet them every single day and that is why I’m surviving I guess.

I know that we should always cherish and living the moment to be happy but for me, sometimes looking forward to something also makes me happy. There is no harm in determining how you’d view your happiness, because nobody stays the same. As far as I am concerned, don’t just do things that make you happy, instead do things that both can make you happy and move you forward. It sucks isn’t to stuck at the same place everyday? Why not be a better person?

Because I love you so much

"Are you okay?" I asked.
Without even waiting for her to reply, I cried.
Because I know she is not.
She shook her head, and she cried too.

She has always been strong, will always be strong.

I have always been believing her.
She moulded me from none to better,
She loves me even when I am not a matter,
She is more than a sister, a mother.

I love her, so much,
That I have never felt such.

She knocked on my door,
When everybody chooses to snore,
You found me lying on the floor,
Had you don't come, will I be restored?

I love her, so much,
That I have never felt such.





Gratitude log: Day 17, 18 and 19

Assalamualaikum.

So here goes~~~

I'm grateful for

1) Not missing my school
2) Survived week 2
3) Being told that I am special
4) Having able to keep my sense throughout the week

Alhamdulillah for all the blessings that have been sent down from the Heaven.

It is so chic and rugged isn't it to start your day with happiness and thinking there is nothing you can worry just because all of your affairs are in the hand of Allah -- the best hand after all. So mehhh, nothing to worry maa just enjoy your life! Errr, really you just can sit back and relax? Well, for me it is true enough --  to always move with the flow and worry not about what Allah has in store specially for you. I don't literally mean you just have to sit back and relax, do nothing, only sleep throughout your whole life -- a big NO. Your job is to do your job without even the slightest doubt that you're gonna die doing it (but when your ajal came then only you'd die). There is a reason why Allah put you in the situation you hated the most. The key point is, to not hate whatever Allah throws at you but to embrace and work through it.

Have a nice day :)

Worst day, so far

Assalamualaikum.

Gratitude log: Day 14, 15 and 16.

It's almost the end of week 2! Ya feel? Time has been flying super fast, alhamdulillah and I have no time to beat myself up and being sad for no reasons whatsoever. I am more healed alhamdulillah. I am adapting myself pretty fast and making a lot more conversations with my colleagues. I am always so blessed for my students are welcoming me and putting me at ease. Whenever I entered the classroom, they will smile and wave their hands at me while greeting me. That was what I feared the most before coming to that school but alhamdulillah I can now walk through a huge crowd and show 'em who's in charge.

But today, (day 16) something had happened and it kinda shook my confidence down. I was completely dumbfounded earlier this morning. One of my students raised her voice at me because I've shown her the wrong way of answering one of the questions. Well, in my defence, I didn't teach her how, she just showed me how she did it and it seems alright to me (finding median from a cumulative frequency graph), that was why I think it is right. And I know, I have to assess her first before I jump to the conclusion. As she asked me how to do the same sorta question, then only I teach her. Immediately after I told her how to do it, she completely vented and I told her how sorry I was. But she couldn't care less. Well, at that moment I could literally cry but I just have to toughen myself up and bracing myself for more. I will never know, innit?

Anyway, lemme just cry in my blanket hahahahahaha. Have a good day :)